EAM's MUSINGS PAGE:
im going to put my smaller, less pointed thoughts here; the ones that don't fit in my diary
8262024.912pm::: i was trying to word out a question about what to do. what i really want is a hug
552024.641pm::: i want this room to be free of me. to be me
4022024.126pm::: is it ever really worth it? is that the point? meow
2272024.1055am::: evry man with face tats just looks like jared letos joker in suicide squad 2016. please lord save me
2042024.1002pm::: why is it all men?? like i love beautiful men but why do they all have to suck so hard. please im begging show me a good man, im losing faith
1312024.452pm::: trying to give myself reasons not to fall backwards off a building, just to see the sky and feel the wind one more time
1172024.640pm:::the reason im here is to see the patterns and find beauty in them. the world is meticulous causalities doing whatever tf they want.
1172023.716pm::: sotce get it lol
1282022.824am::: turns out i can help myself if i want to :)
10012022.1252pm::: love love love love hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. wtf im gonna miss you please dont leave i love you
03192022.631pm:::i love living, yay for me :)
02042022.631pm:::i miss living
06062021.1041pm::: holy shit pls some1 force me to update more i feel so bad about abandoning u guyz :(( OH YEAH AND I GOT A JOB BUT ILL TELL YALL TMRW
04132021.928am::: rn i'm sitting in class with some1 who like doesn't like me :) so thats cool i guess. just gonna avoid eye contact lolo
04102021.743pm::: i'm incredibly fucked up rn!!! the dopamine overload is stopping me from feeling like shit!! yay!!
03302021.801pm::: fuck you _____, you took what was bad and made it worse
03272021.633pm::: at my grandmas 4 my birthday. god i love her so much
03222021.1019am::: why won't he dm me back :( at least i'm being productive i guess
03092021.827pm::: damn this vyvanse rlly hits, i have literally done more 2day than i have all week.
02132021.551pm::: yeah yeah bang energy yeah yeah!!
01092021.738pm::: gay pplllll :))
01092021.738pm::: god i love this feeling, the all consuming bliss of being not here
12302020.928pm::: they hate me, i hate me. i hate growing up. this shit sucks :(
12252020.145pm::: i fuckin hate my stepdad,, like what is the point of being an insufferable cunt to everybody all the time, and then pretending you like them later,.,."why dont you say 'i love u' to me??",, like stfu asshole
12242020.205pm::: redacted
12182020.1256am::: redacted
12122020.1153am::: she wont leave me alone! theyll never leave
11182020.8842pm::: im 195 lbs rn :)
10302020.1150am::: i should write more :(
1082020.1256pm::: schoolwork,, no,, all i know is make jewelry during class
9302020.100pm::: im so tired : /
1042020.925m::: giant nausica bugs in my house with maggots in them,, r they in my bed?... medieval gay pegging stepbrother ascendant maze? ghosts robbing a mall and pinning it on a mobster karen? if i were dead is this what wold happen with my friends? my advice?...dont drink coffe b4 going to bed.
9302020.100pm::: im so tired : /
9282020.200pm::: tmw probably gets solanine poisoning
9242020.1209pm::: i really dont knwo what to think anymore; theres too much going on
9212020.926pm::: im gonna do it, im gonna ask, and if this happens on more time i will implode
yeah well it happened but i kinda expected that so whatever.
9212020.1132am::: i hate that people try to teach me mindfullness, like bitch i have a therapist 4 that and u r like so much worse at teaching it,, like u didnt even get the defininition right lol,, i mean ur nice but like please b quiet
9172020.1147pm::: fuck free writes,, stop saying juju,,.,ur kinda fuckin ableist,, i fucking hate all of u
9142020.1206am::: maybe if my room is dark and i am quiet ppl will know i am sad... who am i kidding?? full on sobbing doesnt even work; im not even sad, im angry
9122020.1115am::: i want to smash all my mirrors;; everything is burdening me down, in stacks and piles and clinging to the walls, soon i will drown