★the eam archives★

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EAM's MUSINGS PAGE:
im going to put my smaller, less pointed thoughts here; the ones that don't fit in my diary



★arranged newest to oldest★

8262024.912pm::: i was trying to word out a question about what to do. what i really want is a hug

552024.641pm::: i want this room to be free of me. to be me

4022024.126pm::: is it ever really worth it? is that the point? meow

2272024.1055am::: evry man with face tats just looks like jared letos joker in suicide squad 2016. please lord save me

2042024.1002pm::: why is it all men?? like i love beautiful men but why do they all have to suck so hard. please im begging show me a good man, im losing faith

1312024.452pm::: trying to give myself reasons not to fall backwards off a building, just to see the sky and feel the wind one more time

1172024.640pm:::the reason im here is to see the patterns and find beauty in them. the world is meticulous causalities doing whatever tf they want.

1172023.716pm::: sotce get it lol

1282022.824am::: turns out i can help myself if i want to :)

10012022.1252pm::: love love love love hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. wtf im gonna miss you please dont leave i love you

03192022.631pm:::i love living, yay for me :)

02042022.631pm:::i miss living

06062021.1041pm::: holy shit pls some1 force me to update more i feel so bad about abandoning u guyz :(( OH YEAH AND I GOT A JOB BUT ILL TELL YALL TMRW

04132021.928am::: rn i'm sitting in class with some1 who like doesn't like me :) so thats cool i guess. just gonna avoid eye contact lolo

04102021.743pm::: i'm incredibly fucked up rn!!! the dopamine overload is stopping me from feeling like shit!! yay!!

03302021.801pm::: fuck you _____, you took what was bad and made it worse

03272021.633pm::: at my grandmas 4 my birthday. god i love her so much

03222021.1019am::: why won't he dm me back :( at least i'm being productive i guess

03092021.827pm::: damn this vyvanse rlly hits, i have literally done more 2day than i have all week.

02132021.551pm::: yeah yeah bang energy yeah yeah!!

01092021.738pm::: gay pplllll :))

01092021.738pm::: god i love this feeling, the all consuming bliss of being not here

12302020.928pm::: they hate me, i hate me. i hate growing up. this shit sucks :(

12252020.145pm::: i fuckin hate my stepdad,, like what is the point of being an insufferable cunt to everybody all the time, and then pretending you like them later,.,."why dont you say 'i love u' to me??",, like stfu asshole

12242020.205pm::: redacted

12182020.1256am::: redacted

12122020.1153am::: she wont leave me alone! theyll never leave

11182020.8842pm::: im 195 lbs rn :)

10302020.1150am::: i should write more :(

1082020.1256pm::: schoolwork,, no,, all i know is make jewelry during class

9302020.100pm::: im so tired : /

1042020.925m::: giant nausica bugs in my house with maggots in them,, r they in my bed?... medieval gay pegging stepbrother ascendant maze? ghosts robbing a mall and pinning it on a mobster karen? if i were dead is this what wold happen with my friends? my advice?...dont drink coffe b4 going to bed.

9302020.100pm::: im so tired : /

9282020.200pm::: tmw probably gets solanine poisoning

9242020.1209pm::: i really dont knwo what to think anymore; theres too much going on

9212020.926pm::: im gonna do it, im gonna ask, and if this happens on more time i will implode
yeah well it happened but i kinda expected that so whatever.

9212020.1132am::: i hate that people try to teach me mindfullness, like bitch i have a therapist 4 that and u r like so much worse at teaching it,, like u didnt even get the defininition right lol,, i mean ur nice but like please b quiet

9172020.1147pm::: fuck free writes,, stop saying juju,,.,ur kinda fuckin ableist,, i fucking hate all of u

9142020.1206am::: maybe if my room is dark and i am quiet ppl will know i am sad... who am i kidding?? full on sobbing doesnt even work; im not even sad, im angry

9122020.1115am::: i want to smash all my mirrors;; everything is burdening me down, in stacks and piles and clinging to the walls, soon i will drown